The value of failure

I have been taking on some big things in the past few weeks. Big things. Academic Decathlon, a swim meet, and a campaign for treasurer. All of which have been happening, three weeks in a row. All of which ended in total failure. It was like I was continuously assaulted by life. Again and again. There was big dreams and big hopes. But ultimately, there was one teen trying to be more than he was. A hero.

When in doubt of myself or my choices, I look towards people who I know are flawed. By that I mean my heroes. And by that I mean from books. Or movies, or comics. Whatever works. However, in my time of need and-well- despair, there was only one person who can save me.

 

doodly doodly dooo

 

I’ve only gotten into comics this year, but Ms.Marvel was the only one I could keep up with. I could also relate to her teen related escapades. Wanting to be a champion of anything, trying to be important in a viral age, and feeling like you belong. I think that she truly fights for other kids of her generation, whether they care to look up from the cellphones or not.

 

So what does a wannabee Captain Marvel’s  got to do with failure. First of all, she’s not a poser, she’s her own independent hero. Get that in your head and then we’ll be friends.

 

So, being a hero, Ms. Marvel uses her newfound powers and forces her way down an abandoned house to rescue a friend. Things are going great and spiffy. Before robot spiders come with a loser bad boy brandishing a laser. There’s that. She doesn’t have the “best” power, think Mr. Fantastic the stretchy guy, so her first attempt goes south. In her escape, she leaves the hostage behind, and runs away disgraced.

Everything I did these past few weeks seemed stupid, they seemed futile in the point of life. My only memories of those horrible moments was the feeling of exasperation. The “I know I’m going to lose and I’m getting tired of losing.” type of deal. I drowned my disappointment in comics and the occasional teen angst band.

I knew I lost, but still couldn’t come to grips with it. I felt bad, but ignored it. I felt like I was killing myself two times in a row. The first stroke from not getting an award or placing last place and the second committed by my fear of accepting the truth.

I think it’s cliche, but it gets me everytime. Ms. Marvel starts prepping for “Supr Hostage Rescue #2”. By the time she gets back in that godforsaken house of tacky teens, she nails it. What’s more, the bad guys send an open threat to her warning her otherwise. And you know what? She lets them come.

I didn’t win any awards for Academic Decathlon, I got last place in the swim meet as the slowest boy on the swim team, and my campaign bit me in the butt. Losing sucks, but if I need to follow an example. I lost this time, and I might lose a thousand more. It could take me centuries, but I’ll get it one day. I’ll make it through the house and back without even breaking a sweat.